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How to Break Your Comparison Habit, According to a Therapist

There’s a famous 2008 study in which two capuchin monkeys were placed side by side in glass cages and prompted to complete the simple task of handing the scientists a pebble. In exchange for correctly following instructions, one of the monkeys was rewarded with a cucumber, which she was perfectly happy to accept…until she noticed that the other monkey received a grape (i.e., a sweeter, yummier treat). Outraged over this inequity, the first monkey literally HURLED the cucumber back at the scientist and rattled her cage in protest.

If the urge to compare is too strong to ignore, if we’re always our own worst critics, what’s the secret to contentment? Is there an effective means of lessening the sting of feeling less than, or maybe circumnavigating it altogether? I turned to Dr. Lisa Firestone, a practicing clinical psychologist, for some expert advice. Read her five tips for dealing with comparison below, and meet me in the comments to discuss further.


1. Examine where the urge to compare yourself might be coming from.
“Oftentimes our parents compare us to others, whether it’s a sibling or another child, and that plants the seed in our heads,” says Dr. Firestone. “A woman recently came to one of my workshops, and her mother would always say things to her like, ‘You’re prettier than those other little girls’ or ‘You’re smarter than those other little girls,’ mostly because she wanted to be the mother of the prettiest and smartest little girl. It was more for her than for her child.
2. Channel your impulse to compare into something productive.
“When you’re jealous of a trait or behavior that someone else possesses, think of it as an opportunity for self-improvement — not in a self-critical way, but in a self-compassionate way,” says Dr. Firestone.
3. Be mindful of how social media can falsely exaggerate perfection.
“Social media has given us access to comparison all the time, 24/7,” says Dr. Firestone. “You used to only hear about the successes and failures of people you knew personally, but now you’re hearing about everybody all the time.

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90s are “vintage”? Expert opinion

With the world of fashion generally known for looping similar trends over the years, one might expect that this time it will be no different story. However, though the fall-winter trends this year borrow heavily from the last year’s ideas and aesthetics, some of the trends that we as the customers are offered vary a bit with its fresh touch of originality…

Long story short, the main factor this next season is the boldness and audacity. Audacity is the name of the game for next season. And you need to actually feel a little bit more empowered than usual in order to carry off the deluge of mauve and pink, electro furs, couture red and glitter lurex from head to toe that ruled the runways in the fashion capitals. Do you already feel over excited about this? If not, let’s delve more into which specific colors and hues will be prominent among the urban fashionistas this winter. The Bubblegum pink is said to be featured in virtually every major fashion collection out there, almost on par with white at times.

When you’re jealous of a trait or behavior that someone else possesses, think of it as an opportunity for self-improvement — not in a self-critical way, but in a self-compassionate way,” says Dr. Firestone. “Oftentimes our parents compare us to others, whether it’s a sibling or another child, and that plants the seed in our heads,” says Dr. Firestone. “A woman recently came to one of my workshops, and her mother would always say things to her like, ‘You’re prettier than those other little girls’ or ‘You’re smarter than those other little girls,’ mostly because she wanted to be the mother of the prettiest and smartest little girl. It was more for her than for her child.

Also, as if we weren’t getting that whole 90’s idea by now, such things as vinyl and leopard print will also be back in the trend. This is all on the same degree of usage as the Eighties shoulder and the velvet in this season’s winterish clothing. Such unusual styles as combinaisons and the “military” outfit and air force jackets have also gained traction across the fashion capitals of the world. Fashion shows from Milan and London to Edinburgh, New York, and Paris have all had these appear. So, with such a wide variety of funky styles, what would be your personal choice for the Holidays season?

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Find Your Personal Style

Who are you?What is your style? It often happens that we don’t know what to wear and how to look both glamorous and elegant. Read this post and probably you’ll receive answers on questions to were interested in.
With the world of fashion generally known for looping similar trends over the years, one might expect that this time it will be no different story. However, though the fall-winter trends this year borrow heavily from the last year’s ideas and aesthetics, some of the trends that we as the customers are offered vary a bit with its fresh touch of originality…

Long story short, the main factor this next season is the boldness and audacity. Audacity is the name of the game for next season. And you need to actually feel a little bit more empowered than usual in order to carry off the deluge of mauve and pink, electro furs, couture red and glitter lurex from head to toe that ruled the runways in the fashion capitals. Do you already feel over excited about this? If not, let’s delve more into which specific colors and hues will be prominent among the urban fashionistas this winter. The Bubblegum pink is said to be featured in virtually every major fashion collection out there, almost on par with white at times.

When you’re jealous of a trait or behavior that someone else possesses, think of it as an opportunity for self-improvement — not in a self-critical way, but in a self-compassionate way,” says Dr. Firestone. “Oftentimes our parents compare us to others, whether it’s a sibling or another child, and that plants the seed in our heads,” says Dr. Firestone. “A woman recently came to one of my workshops, and her mother would always say things to her like, ‘You’re prettier than those other little girls’ or ‘You’re smarter than those other little girls,’ mostly because she wanted to be the mother of the prettiest and smartest little girl. It was more for her than for her child.

Also, as if we weren’t getting that whole 90’s idea by now, such things as vinyl and leopard print will also be back in the trend. This is all on the same degree of usage as the Eighties shoulder and the velvet in this season’s winterish clothing. Such unusual styles as combinaisons and the “military” outfit and air force jackets have also gained traction across the fashion capitals of the world. Fashion shows from Milan and London to Edinburgh, New York, and Paris have all had these appear. So, with such a wide variety of funky styles, what would be your personal choice for the Holidays season?